Life

Test Everyone has the power to be happy. It only takes a few disciplined approaches. Don't think others are masters of self-control; far from it. We all need a little help now and then.

Exercise moderation in every walk of life. I repeat every walk of life—no exceptions. I mean no fanatical attachments whatsoever, period. In pain and pleasure, don't let the emotional mood swing too far to either side—a kind of Zen mindset.

A positive swing too far can get you in trouble for acts unthinkable. Too far to the negative side can leave you sad, depressed, etc. Too disciplined an approach will make life too bureaucratic, and an undisciplined approach makes life chaotic. Either of them is not good; you need to strike a balance.

Don't be burdened by too many unfinished tasks, jumping from task to task, probably due to high anxiety—this will get you into the loser column fast. Focus on one task at a time and put each task in a silo. With practice, you will be able to do that—I guarantee.

Provide feedback or suggestions—and then leave them alone. Do not coerce the other into your ideas—coercing is a very bad trait. As a receiver, encourage lots of them, then make your judgment—nobody has as much background as you have.

Don't nurture habits like looking at the clock all the time, needing a drink, frequent cigarette breaks, or needing to go on a vacation after some tough tasks. Enduring it, you become stronger to handle such tasks without crutches.

Be careful of little sloppiness or distraction when operating, as it leads to major accidents.

Be generous in opinions and judgments in social and private life with family and friends. Most often, others ask you to concur, not for critical judgment. In many social settings, you are expected to say yes and agree, say it’s great. At parties, you are expected to entertain, not argue or correct—it’s not a court deposition. Reserve your unsolicited comments, opinions, and critiques for yourself.

Don't keep on creating stereotypes of every event, person, idea, and place—otherwise, you will be left an aggravated, angry person, hating all that comes even remotely close to the stereotypes.

Don't build up stress or worry about the result or job not being done perfectly—you can't do anything about it. We all have our share of wins and losses, and you are not going to be an exception.

Any situation, place, person, or idea can be visualized in many ways. Give it the benefit of the doubt to make it an ally rather than an adversary—it’s good for all. Your friends should be many, enemies few—don’t carry that extra stress.

Take control of your mind slowly; don't follow what your mind says. Tell yourself that you will decide and that you are in charge of how to act. That may include jumping from issue to issue, playing the victim very easily, needing emotional support, and negatively stereotyping people, places, events, and ideas. Practice working on each task as if there are no other issues in your life. Rejoice in the newly acquired self-control, one item at a time.

Just like your mind becomes the thoughts you fill it with, your body becomes what you eat. Fill your mind with happy thoughts. Nurture good values and ideals. Your mind can be trained. Portion control is still the best dietary approach. Transition from a platter to a plate to a bowl, then pay attention to the quality of the food. If you consume an enormous amount of salad, you have not reduced the stomach sack size—your appetite will not be reduced. Perhaps review your grocery list now and then for the quality and quantity of the food you buy. Try to make up for a big meal with a small one within 24 hours—lest you forget. Imagine the stress being overweight can cause on your body organs.

Create events to get excited about every day—something like waiting anxiously to open presents the day after Christmas. Be engaged in useful activities—it does not have to be a paying job but not frivolous.

Practice planning tasks and events that bear fruit not just for tomorrow or in a month but decades in the future. Stop looking at the clock or checking your email every minute. This comes with practice.

Everyone needs big or small accomplishments every day to keep that fire going. It may be trivial, like making the bed in the morning or tidying up after yourself. Don't think these small chores are below your pay grade. Your mind does not care that much about the significance of your accomplishments.

Keep an open mind. Don't get stuck on the wrong side of people, places, events, and ideas. Evaluate every engagement to see if you are fair and not being influenced by stereotypes. It may be in your vested interest to take a low-friction position. That does not mean rolling over and accepting everything, as others can exploit you.

Don't be crushed by bundling all your worries together. Divide them into individual issues to conquer. Keep them in separate silos. Spend a little time on each; try to resolve one at a time. I guarantee you can do that.

Your mind wants you to experience fear harder and harder. Don't dwell on fear often—else you will be caught in the downward spiral of fear. The more you think of any fearful event, the stronger it becomes. Justify that place, people, or event are not that bad. Say to yourself that you can handle it—of course, you can.

Ask yourself why you are sad, worried, and depressed. If there is no good reason, then tell yourself to put yourself in the happy column.

Do not look for emotional support every time things don't turn out the way you like. Try to handle it by yourself for your emotional maturity—it’s something like exercising with support; it does not help to build your muscles.

Don't become a lonely human being. Think of yourself as a part of a much bigger universe of people. Wish others well, share in their pain, rejoice in their accomplishments, empathize with their suffering, pray for their welfare, and practice little acts of kindness every day. Help with trivial to significant deeds to reduce their distress.

Know your body and watch for changes—your doctor cannot help if you don't provide much for diagnoses. Proactive actions like regular checkups can help avoid major illnesses. We are fearful of the outcome, but as you know, it is unjustified. Say to yourself that it can only help, not uncover something that is not there.

Be empathetic in life or cultivate it. There is nothing so powerful that it gives a soothing comfort under any distress in life.

Spend some time improving your professional skills—like what you do, for it pays the bills.

Don't react rapidly like a weathervane. If you run out of gas, it’s urgent, but McDonald’s running out of French fries is not.

Silence is golden. Many arguments can be diffused with clever use of silence. Don’t stereotype every event or person—that is going to be tedious.

Smiling is probably one of the most underused tools. It’s the most powerful signaling mechanism—a rainbow full of emotions. Practice smiling; check it in the mirror. Try variations. If you can control your smile in any situation, you are almost a winner. We think that we have the right to show our emotions to others, but it does not help us nor create that warm feeling for others. We like to associate with warm people who show interest in our lives. Move with people who are at peace and happiness. If you don't know the answer, say so, no point misguiding others. Review your lifestyle from time to time; question if it is aligned with your goals in life.

Incentivize new efforts, that first step is hard. Every change is a disruption however trivial it may be. We are not much different from pets, think of your favorite treats – tall drink, nice dress, there are many to choose from.

Learn from places, people, and events, then try to incorporate them into your daily life. Nurture the joy of learning – trivial to complex. Learning gets a bad rap – reminds us of school tests. Think of it as playing a video game and getting better or winning. But nothing boosts your self-esteem like new things learned.

Taking small risks in life can create new excitement. Learn new skills. Work done efficiently, with discipline, and self-control gets sublimely winner ratings. Don’t be too sensitive about yourself or others—there is no need to please others every time, as it can build stress.

Smile as often as you can manage daily. There is nothing that pokes holes in the dark cloud of gloom. Try smiling sublimely when you are tackling a tedious chore, person, place, or situation—you will be amazed at the result. Your mind will put you at ease the next time you encounter it. Smiling gives you the power to stage you at your best.

Everyone deserves a smiling welcome. You can modulate to maintain a pleasant to somber face, but never frown, whatever the situation you are in—it does not help you.

Always keep a biz card with a focused, compact few lines on your salable skill and contact information. Ask for help if there is a match. Just like you, others may be looking for one like you.

What is the origination of an idea, and why and how that follows are less abstract. Most often what cannot be outsourced. Skill to deal with qualitative and ambiguous items is well paid – which mostly comes with experience. All said skill to solve as in how does garner that much value – for it is well defined.

Do not cultivate low-grade habits; gossip comes top on the list. Going overboard on social salutations may be another.

Your expectation of accomplishment is not absolute; it’s relative to others in the community you are associated with. Hard-earned money sublimely gives extra points—no wonder they are happier. Lots of people with very little income are quite happy. How you earn the money can be more important than the amount of money you pass on to your family.

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